My Name Is
Chorus:
repeat 2X Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) My name
is.. {scratches} Slim Shady Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is..
(what?) My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady Ahem.. excuse me! Can
I have the attention of the class for one second?
[Eminem] Hi
kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!) Wanna see me stick
Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!) Wanna
copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!) Try 'cid and get
fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?) My brain's dead weight,
I'm tryin to get my head straight but I can't figure out which
Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..) And Dr. Dre said,
"Slim Shady you a basehead!" Uh-uhhh! "So why's
your face red? Man you wasted!" Well since age twelve, I've
felt like I'm someone else Cause I hung my original self from the
top bunk with a belt Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits
off And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like
Kris Kross I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass faster
than a fat bitch who sat down too fast C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a
minute, that's my girl dog!) I don't give a fuck, God sent me to
piss the world off!
Chorus
[Eminem] My
English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high Thanks a lot,
next semester I'll be thirty-five I smacked him in his face with
an eraser, chased him with a stapler and stapled his nuts to a
stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!) Walked in the strip club, had my
jacket zipped up Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the
tip cup Extraterrestrial, runnin over pedestrians in a spaceship
while they screamin at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to I just found out my
mom does more dope than I do (Damn!) I told her I'd grow up to be
a famous rapper Make a record about doin drugs and name it after
her (Oh thank you!) You know you blew up when the women rush your
stands and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude, can I get
your autograph?) So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the
support, ASSHOLE!'
Chorus
[Eminem] Stop
the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!) Dr. Dre,
don't just stand there, OPERATE! I'm not ready to leave, it's too
scary to die (Fuck that!) I'll have to be carried inside the
cemetery and buried alive (Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can
barely decide I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive?
(Go ahead) All my life I was very deprived I ain't had a woman in
years, and my palms are too hairy to hide (Whoops!) Clothes ripped
like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too) I spit when I talk, I'll
fuck anything that walks (C'mere) When I was little I used to get
so hungry I would throw fits HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!)
YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!) I lay awake and strap myself in
the bed Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head
(BANG!) I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!) And by the way when you see
my dad? (Yeah?) Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I
had
Chorus
Guilty
Conscience
[announcer]
Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old. Fed up with life and the way
things are going, he decides to rob a liquor store. ("I can't
take this no more, I can't take it no more homes") But on his
way in, he has a sudden change of heart. And suddenly, his
conscience comes into play... ("Shit is mine, I gotta do
this.. gotta do this")
[Dr. Dre] Alright,
stop! (Huh?) Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
and try to get money out the drawer You better think of the
consequence (But who are you?) I'm your motherfuckin
conscience
[Eminem] That's
nonsense! Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's
cribs And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs Tell her
you need a place to stay You'll be safe for days if you shave your
legs with an aged razor blade
[Dr. Dre] Yeah
but if it all goes through like it's supposed to The whole
neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you Think about it
before you walk in the door first Look at the store clerk, she's
older than George Burns
[Eminem]
Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch! Can you afford to blow
this shit? Are you that rich? Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are
you that bitch? Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have
kids?
[Dr. Dre]
Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)
Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!) Don't even
listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you (You know what Dre? I don't
like your attitude..) {sound of static} ("It's alright c'mon,
just come in here for a minute") ("Mmm, I don't
know!") ("Look baby..") ("Damn!") ("Yo,
it's gonna be alright, right?") ("Well OK..")
[announcer]
Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!")
After meeting a young girl at a rave party, things start getting
hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom. Once again, his conscience
comes into play... ("Shit!")
[Eminem] Now
listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek and smearin her
lipstick, I slipped this in her drink Now all you gotta do is
nibble on this little bitch's earlobe.. (Yo! This girl's only
fifteen years old You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not
fair) Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!) Fuck this
bitch right here on the spot bare Til she passes out and she
forgot how she got there (Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie
_Kids_?) No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest! (Shit, you
wanna get hauled off to jail?) Man fuck that, hit that shit raw
dawg and bail..
{sound of static}
{pickup idling, radio playing}
[announcer]
Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker. After
coming home from a hard day's work, he walks in the door of his
trailer park home to find his wife in bed with another man.
("WHAT THE FUCK?!?!") ("Grady!!")
[Dr. Dre] Alright
calm down, relax, start breathin..
[Eminem] Fuck
that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin While you at work
she's with some dude tryin to get off?! FUCK slittin her throat,
CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!
[Dr. Dre]
Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit? (What? She
tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!) Alright Shady, maybe he's
right Grady But think about the baby before you get all
crazy
[Eminem]
Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her? Grab her by the
throat, get your daughter and kidnap her? That's what I did, be
smart, don't be a retard You gonna take advice from somebody who
slapped DEE BARNES??!
[Dr. Dre]
What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?) I'ma kill
you motherfucker!
[Eminem]
Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper! Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.? Mr. AK comin'
straight outta Compton y'all better make way? How in the fuck you
gonna tell this man not to be violent?
[Dr. Dre]
Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went Been there,
done that.. aw fuck it... What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady,
where's your gun at?
{gun fires, is
cocked, and re-fired}
Brain Damage
[Doctor]
Scalpel
[Nurse] Here
[Doctor] Sponge
[Nurse] Here
[Doctor] Wait.. he's convulsing, he's convulsing!
[Nurse] Ah!
[Doctor] We're gonna have to shock him!
[Nurse] Oh my! Oh my God!
[Doctor] We're gonna have to shock him!
[Nurse] Oh my God!
[Eminem]
These are the results of a thousand electric volts A neck with
bolts, "Nurse we're losin him, check the pulse!" A kid
who refused to respect adults Wore spectacles with taped frames
and a freckled nose A corny lookin white boy, scrawny and always
ornery Cause I was always sick of brawny bullies pickin on me And
I might snap, one day just like that I decided to strike back and
flatten every tire on the bike rack (Whosssssh) My first day in
junior high, this kid said, "It's you and I, three o'clock
sharp this afternoon you die" I looked at my watch it was one
twenty "I already gave you my lunch money what more do you
want from me?!?" He said, "Don't try to run from me,
you'll just make it worse..." My palms were sweaty, and I
started to shake at first Something told me, "Try to fake a
stomach ache it works" I screamed, "Owww! My appendix
feels like they could burst! Teacher, teacher, quick I need a
naked nurse!"
[N] "What's the matter?"
[E] "I don't know, my leg, it hurts!"
[N] "Leg?!? I thought you said it was your
tummy?!?"
[E] "Oh, I mean it is, but I also got a bum knee!"
[N] "Mr. Mathers, the fun and games are over. And just for
that stunt, you're gonna get some extra homework."
[E] "But don't you wanna give me after school
detention?"
[N] "Nah, that bully wants to beat your ass and I'ma let
him."
Chorus:
repeat 2X
Brain damage, ever
since the day I was born Drugs is what they used to say I was on
They say I never knew which way I was goin But everywhere I go
they keep playin my song
[Eminem]
Brain damage.. Way before my baby daughter Hailey I was harassed
daily by this fat kid named D'Angelo Bailey An eighth grader who
acted obnoxious, cause his father boxes so everyday he'd shove me
in the lockers One day he came in the bathroom while I was pissin
And had me in the position to beat me into submission He banged my
head against the urinal til he broke my nose, Soaked my clothes in
blood, grabbed me and choked my throat I tried to plead and tell
him, "We shouldn't beef" But he just wouldn't leave, he
kept chokin me and I couldn't breathe He looked at me and said,
"You gonna die honkey!" The principal walked in (What's
going on in here?) and started helpin him stomp me I made them
think they beat me to death Holdin my breath for like five minutes
before they finally left Then I got up and ran to the janitor's
storage booth Kicked the door hinge loose and ripped out the four
inch screws Grabbed some sharp objects, brooms, and foreign tools
"This is for every time you took my orange juice, or stole my
seat in the lunchroom and drank my chocolate milk. Every time you
tipped my tray and it dropped and spilt. I'm gettin you back
bully! Now once and for good." I cocked the broomstick back
and swung hard as I could and beat him over the head with it til I
broke the wood Knocked him down, stood on his chest with one
foot.. .. Made it home, later that same day Started reading a
comic, and suddenly everything became gray I couldn't even see
what I was tryin to read I went deaf, and my left ear started to
bleed My mother started screamin, "What are you on, drugs?!?
Look at you, you're gettin blood all over my rug!" (Sorry!)
She beat me over the head with the remote control opened a hole,
and my whole brain fell out of my skull I picked it up and
screamed, "Look bitch, what have you done?!?"
[M] "Oh my God, I'm sorry son"
[E] "Shut up you cunt!" I said, "Fuck
it!"
Took it and stuck it back up in my head then I sewed it shut and
put a couple of screws in my neck
Chorus
[Eminem] Brain
damage.. It's brain damage.. I got brain damage.. It's brain
damage.. It's probably brain damage.. It's brain damage.. Brain
damage.. I got brain damage..
Role Model
OK, I'm going to
attempt to drown myself You can try this at home You can be just
like me!
Mic check one
two.. we recordin? I'm cancerous, so when I diss you wouldn't
wanna answer this If you responded back with a battle rap you
wrote for Canibus I strangled you to death then I choked you again
Then break your fuckin legs till your bones poke through your skin
You beef wit me, I'ma even the score equally Take you on Jerry
Springer, and beat yer ass legally I get you blunted off of funny
home grown Cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than
Sonny Bono (Ohh no!!) So if I said I never did drugs That would
mean I lie AND get fucked more than the President does Hillary
Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert I ripped her fuckin
tonsils out and fed her sherbet (Bitch!) My nerves hurt, and
lately I'm on edge Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blonde
dreads (Fuck you!) Every girl I ever went out wit is goin lez
Follow me and do exactly what the song says: smoke weed, take
pills, drop outta school, kill people and drink And jump behind
the wheel like it was still legal I'm dumb enough to walk in a
store and steal So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn
Hill Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin skill Cause I
stand out like a green hat with a orange bill But I don't get
pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist How the fuck can I
be white, I don't even exist I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a
rave Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave My
middle finger won't go down, how do I wave? And this is how I'm
supposed to teach kids how to behave?
Now follow me and
do exactly what you see Don't you wanna grow up to be just like
me! I slap women and eat shrooms then O.D. Now don't you wanna
grow up to be just like me!
Me and Marcus
Allen went over to see Nicole When we heard a knock at the door,
must have been Ron Gold' Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on
hold Killed em both and smeared blood in a white Bronco (we did
it!) My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk I slapped Garth
Brooks out of his Rhinestone shirt I'm not a player just a ill
rhyme sayer That'll spray an Aerosol can up at the ozone layer (psssssssh)
My rap style's warped, I'm runnin out the morgue witcha dead
grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch Jumped in a
Chickenhawk cartoon wit a cape on And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with
an acorn I'm bout as normal as Norman Bates, with deformative
traits A premature birth that was four minutes late Mother.. are
you there? I love you I never meant to hit you over the head with
that shovel Will someone explain to my brain that I just severed a
main vein with a chainsaw and I'm in pain? I take a breather and
sighed; either I'm high, or I'm nuts Cause if you ain't tiltin
this room, neither am I So when you see your mom with a
thermometer shoved in her ass Then it probably is obvious I got it
on with her Cause when I drop this solo shit it's over with I
bought Cage's tape, opened it, and dubbed over it
I came to the club
drunk with a fake ID Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!
I've been with 10 women who got HIV Now don't you wanna grow up to
be just like me! I got genital warts and it burns when I pee Don't
you wanna grow up to be just like me! I tie a rope around my penis
and jump from a tree You probably wanna grow up to be just like
me!!!
My Fault
[G] Eminem as
Susan (the girl)
[D] Eminem as Dave
[J] Eminem as John
[R] Eminem as Ron
Chorus:
repeat 2X {Eminem singing} I never meant to give you
mushrooms girl I never meant to bring you to my world Now you
sitting in the corner crying And now it's my fault my fault
[Eminem] I
went to John's rave with Ron and Dave And met a new wave blonde
babe with half of her head shaved A nurse aid who came to get laid
and tied up with first aid tape and raped on the first date Susan
-- an ex-heroin addict who just stopped usin who love booze and
alternative music (Whattup?) Told me she was goin back into usin
again (Nah!) I said, "Wait, first try this hallucinogen It's
better than heroin, Henn, the booze or the gin C'mere, let's go in
here" *knocks on the door* "Who's in the den?" [R]
"It's me and Kelly!" "My bad, (sorry) let's try
another room" [G] I don't trust you! "Shut up slut! Chew
up this mushroom This'll help you get in touch with your roots
We'll get barefoot, buttnaked, and run in the woods [G] Oh hell, I
might as well try em, this party is so drab "Oh dag!!"
[G] What? "I ain't mean for you to eat the whole bag!"
[G] Huh?!
Chorus: 1st
repeat Em says "I'm sorry!" at the end 2nd repeat same
as original Chorus
"Yo
Sue!" [G] Get away from me, I don't know you Oh shoot, she's
tripping.. [G] I need to go puke!! (Bleahh!) I wasn't tryin to
turn this into somethin major I just wanted to make you appreciate
nature Susan, stop cryin, I don't hate ya The world's not against
you, I'm sorry your father raped you So what you had your little
coochie in your dad's mouth? That ain't no reason to start wiggin
and spaz out She said, [G] Help me I think I'm havin a seisure! I
said, "I'm high too bitch, quit grabbin my t-shirt" (Let
go!) "Would you calm down you're startin to scare me"
She said, [G] I'm twenty-six years old and I'm not married I don't
even have any kids and I can't cook (Hello!) I'm over here Sue,
(hi) you're talkin to the plant, look! We need to get to a
hospital 'fore it's too late Cause I never seen no-one eat as many
shrooms as you ate
Chorus: 1st
repeat Em says "Whoops!" after first line and "It
was an accident!" at the end 2nd repeat same as original
Chorus
Susan (wait!)
Where you goin? You better be careful [G] Leave me alone dad, I'm
sick of gettin my hair pulled I'm not your dad, quit tryin to
swallow your tongue Want some gum? Put down the scissors, 'fore
you do somethin dumb I'll be right back just chill baby please? I
gotta go find Dave he's the one who gave me these "John,
where's Dave at before I bash you?" [J] He's in the bathroom;
I think he's takin a crap dude! "Dave! Pull up your pants, we
need an ambulance There's a girl upstairs talkin to plants choppin
her hair off, and there's only two days left of Spring Break, how
long do these things take to wear off?" [D] Well it depends
on how may you had "I took three, she ate the other
twenty-two caps Now she's upstairs cryin out her eyeballs, drinkin
Lysol" [D] She's gonna die dude "I know and it's my
fault!" [D] My god!!!
Chorus: 1st
repeat Em says "I'm sorry!" after second line and
"What do I do?" at the end 2nd repeat same as original
Chorus
My God, I'm so
sorry! I'm so sorry! Susan please wake up! Please! Please wake
up!! What are you doing?! You're not dead!! You're NOT dead! I
know you're not dead! Oh my God! Susan wake up! Oh God...
Come On
Everybody
[Girl] Hmm-hmm-hmhmhmmhm..
ahhh, whooooo!! Shit
[Em] Yo, mic check Testing one, two, um... twelve (whattup whattup
whattup.. Outsidaz)
[Em] This is my dance song
(Outsidaz) Can you hear me?
(Rah Digga, Pacewon, Young Zee)
[Em] Aight, ay turn my headphones up (bust it bust it)
[Eminem] My
favoite color is red, like the blood shed from Kurt Cobain's head,
when he shot himself dead Women all grabbin at my shishkabob
Bought Lauryn Hill's tape so her kids could starve (I can't stand
white people!) You thought I was livid, now I'm even more so Shit
I got full blown AIDS and a sore throat I got a wardrobe with an
orange robe {*wolf whistle*} I'm in the fourth row, signin
autographs at your show (Yo can you sign this right here?) I just
remembered that I'm absent minded Wait, I mean I've lost my mind,
I can't find it I'm freestylin every verse that I spit cause I
don't even remember the words to my shit (umm, one two) I told the
doc I need a change in sickness and gave a girl herpes in exchange
for syphilis Put my LP on your Christmas gift list You wanna get
high, here bitch just sniff this
Cum on everybody
-- get down tonight (8X)
[Eminem] Yo.. yo
yo yo yo I tried suicide once and I'll try it again That's why I
write songs where I die at the end Cause I don't give a fuck, like
my middle finger was stuck and I was wavin it at everybody
screamin, "I suck" (I SUCK!!!) I go on stage in front of
a sellout crowd and yell out loud, "All y'all get the hell
out now" Fuck rap, I'm givin it up y'all, I'm sorry (But
Eminem this is your record release party!) I'm bored out of my
gourd -- so I took a hammer and nailed my foot to the floorboard
of my Ford Guess I'm just a sick sick bastard who's one sandwich
short of a picnic basket (I ain't got it all) One Excederin tablet
short of a full medicine cabinet I feel like my head has been
shredded like lettuce and cabbage (ohhhhhhh) And if you ever see a
video for this shit I'll probably be dressed up like a mummy with
my wrists slit
Cum on everybody
-- get down tonight (8X)
[Eminem] Got
bitches on my jock out in East Detroit Cause they think that I'm a
motherfuckin Beastie Boy {*wolf whistle*} So I told em I was Mike
D They was like, "Gee I don't know, he might be!" I told
em, "Meet me at Kid Rock's next concert I'll be standin by
the Loch Ness Monster (okay) peace out (bye!!)" Then I jetted
to the weed house Smoked out til I started bustin freestyles Broke
out then I dipped quick back to the crib, put on lipstick Crushed
up the Tylenol and ate it with a dipstick (*slurping*} Made a
couple of crank calls collect [*brrrrrrring, click*] "Ken
Kaniff from Connecticut, can you accept?" I wanna make songs
all the fellas dub And murder every rich rapper that I'm jealous
of So just remember when I bomb your set Yo, I only cuss to make
your mom upset
Cum on everybody
-- get down tonight (8X)
Rock Bottom
Ah yeah, yo! This
song is dedicated to all the happy people All the happy people who
have real nice lives And who have no idea whats it like to be
broke as fuck
Verse One:
I feel like I'm walking a tight rope, without a circus net I'm
popping perkasets, I'm a nervous wreck I deserve respect; but I
work a sweat for this worthless check Bout to burst this tech, at
somebody to reverse this debt Minimum wage got my adrenaline caged
Full of venom and rage Especially when I'm engaged And my
daughter's down to her last diaper That's got my ass hyper I pray
that god answers, maybe I'll ask nicer Watching ballers while they
flossing in their pathfinders These overnight stars becoming
autograph signers We'll all gone blow up and leave the past behind
us Along with the small fry's and average half pinters While playa
haters turn bitch like they have vaginas Cause we see them dollar
signs and let the cash blind us Money will brainwash you and leave
your ass mindless Snakes slither in the grass spineless
Chorus:
repeat 2X That's Rock Bottom When this life makes you mad enough
to kill That's Rock Bottom When you want something bad enough
you'll steal That's Rock Bottom When you feel you have had it up
to here Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear
Verse Two:
My life is full of empty promises And broken dreams I'm hoping
things will look up But there ain't no job openings I feel
discouraged hungry and malnourished Living in this house with no
furnace, unfurnished And I'm sick of working dead end jobs with
lame pay And I'm tired of being hired and fired the same day But
fuck it, if you know the rules to the game play Cause when we die
we know were all going the same way It's cool to be player, but it
sucks to be the fan When all you need is bucks to be the man Plus
a luxury sedan Too comfortable and roomy in a six They threw me in
the mix With all these gloomy lunatics Walk around depressed And
smoke a pound of ses a day And yesterday went by so quick it seems
like it was just today My daughter wants to throw the ball but I'm
too stressed to play Live half my life and throw the rest away
Chorus
There's people
that love me and people that hate me But it's the evil that made
me this backstabbing, deceitful, and shady I want the money, the
women, the fortune, and the fame That Means I'll end up burning in
hell scorching in flames That means I'm stealing your checkbook
and forging your name Lifetime bliss for eternal torture and pain
Right now I feel like just hit the rock bottom I got problems now
everybody on my blocks got 'em I'm screaming like those two cops
when 2pac shot 'em Holding two glocks, I hope your doors got new
locks on 'em My daughter's feet ain't got no shoes or sock's on 'em
And them rings you wearing look like they got a few rocks on 'em
And while you flaunting them I could be taking them to shops to
pawn them I got a couple of rings and a brand new watch you want 'em?
Cause I never went gold of one song I'm running up on someone's
lawns with guns drawn
Chorus
As The World
Turns
Chorus: Repeat
2X
I dont know why
this world keep turning Round and Round But I wish it would stop,
and let me off right now Yes man As the World Turns We all
experience things in life Trials and Tribulations That we all must
go through When someone wants to test us When someone tries our
patience
[Eminem] I
hang with a bunch of hippies and wacky tobacco planters Who
swallow lit roaches and light up like jack-o-lanterns Outsiders
baby, and we suing the courts Cuz we're dope as fuck and only get
a 2 in the source They never should've booted me out of reform
school Deformed fool,takin a shit in a warm pool They threw me out
the Ramada Inn I said it wasn't me, I got a twin (Oh my god its
you! Not again!) It all started when my mother took my bike away
Cuz I murdered my guinea pig and stuck him in the microwave After
that, It was straight to the 40 ouncers Slappin teachers, and
jackin off in front of my counselors Class clown freshman, dressed
like Les Nessman Fuck the next lesson, I'll past the test guessin
And all the other kids said Eminem's a dishead, He'll never last,
the only class he'll pass is phys ed May be true, till I told this
bitch in gym class That she was too fat to swim laps, she needed
Slim Fast (Who Me?) Yeah bitch you so big you walked into big
Tanny's and stepped on Jenny Craig She picked me up to snap me
like a skinny twig Put me in the headlock, then I thought of my
guinea pig I felt the evilness and started transformin (RARRRR!)
It began storming, I heard a bunch of cheering fans swarming
Grabbed that bitch by her hair Drug her across the ground And took
her up to the highest diving board and tossed her down Sorry
coach, its too late to tell me stop While I drop this bitch face
down and watch her belly flop
Chorus
As the World Turns
These are the days of our lives These are the things that we must
go through Day by day
[Eminem] We
drive around in million dollar sports cars While little kids hide
this tape from their parents like bad report cards Outsiders, and
we suing the courts Cuz we dope as fuck and only get a 2 in The
Source Hypercondriac, hanging out at the laundromat Where all the
raunchy fat white trashy blondes be at Dressed like a sailor,
standin by a pale of garbage Its almost dark and I'm still tryna
nail a trailor park bitch I met a slut and said "What up, its
nice to meet ya" I'd like to treat ya to a Faygo and a slice
of pizza But I'm broke as fuck and I don't get paid till the first
of next month But if you care to join me, I was bout to roll this
next blunt But I aint got no weed, no phillies, or no papers Plus
I'm a rapist and a repeated prison escapist So gimme all your
money And don't try nothin funny Cuz you know your stinkin ass is
too fat to try to outrun me I went to grab my gun Thats when her
ass put it on me Wit an uppercut and hit me with a basket of
laundry I fell through the glass doors Started causin a scene Then
slid across the floor and flew right into a washin machine Jumped
up with a broken back Thank god I was smokin crack all day And
doped up off coke and smack All I wanted to do was rape the bitch
and snatch her purse Now I wanna kill her But so I gotta catch her
first Ran through Rally's parkin lot and took a shortcut Saw the
house she ran up in And shot her fuckin porch up Kicked the door
down to murder this divorced slut Looked around the room Thats
when I seen the bedroom door shut I know you're in there bitch! I
got my gun cocked! You might as well come out now She said
"Come in, its unlocked!" I walked in and all I smelled
was Liz Claiborne And seen her spread across the bed naked watchin
gay porn She said "Come her big boy, lets get
acquainted" I turned around to run, twisted my ankle and
sprained it She came at me at full speed, nothin could stop her I
shot her five times and every bullet bounced off her I started to
beg "No, please let go" But she swallowed my fuckin leg
whole like an egg roll With one leg left, now I'm hoppin around
crippled I grabbed my pocket knife and sliced off her right nipple
Just trying to buy me some time, then I remembered this magic
trick Den Den Den Den Den Den, Go go gadget dick! Whipped that
shit out, and aint no doubt about it It hit the ground and caused
an earthquake and power outage I shouted "Now bitch, lets see
who gets the best!" Stuffed that shit in crooked and fucked
that fat slut to death (Ahh!! Ahhh!) Come here bitch! Come here!
Take this motherfuckin dick! Bitch, come here!
Chorus to fade
And as we go along
Throughout the days of our lives We all face small obstacles and
challenges everyday That we must go through These are the things
that surround us through our atmosphere Every day Every single day
the world keeps turning
I'm Shady
[Eminem]
Who came through with two glocks to terrorize your borough (huh?)
Told you how to slap dicks and murder your girl (I did!) Gave you
all the finger and told you to sit and twirl Sold a billion tapes
and still screamed, "Fuck the world!" (I'm Slim Shady..)
so come and kill me while my name's hot And shoot me twenty-five
times in the same spot (Ow!) I think I got a generation
brainwashed to pop pills and smoke pot til they brains rot (uhh-oh)
Stop they blood flow until they veins clot I need a pain shot, and
a shot of plain scotch Purple haze and acid raindrops Spike the
punch at the party and drink pop (gulp gulp) Shaved my armpits and
wore a tank top Bad Boy, I told you that I can't stop You gotta
make em fear you 'fore you make em feel you So everybody buy my
shit or I'ma come and kill you I got mushrooms, I got acid, I got
tabs and aspirin tablets I'm your brother when you need, some good
weed to set you free You know me, I'm your friend, when you need a
minithin (I'm Slim Shady..) I'm Shady!!
[Eminem] I
like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful (uh-huh huh) I
like birds, bees, I like people I like funny things that make me
happy and gleeful (hehehe) like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee
in preschool (Woo!) The ill type, I stab myself with a steel spike
while I blow my brain out, just to see what it feels like cause
this is how I am in real life (mm-hmm) I don't want to just die a
normal death, I wanna be killed twice (uh-huh) How you gonna scare
somebody with a gun threat when they high off of drugs they
haven't even done yet (Huh?) So bring the money by tonight - cause
your wife said this the biggest knife she ever saw in her life
(Help me! Help me!) I try to keep it positive and play it cool
Shoot up the playground and tell the kids to stay in school (Stay
in school!) Cause I'm the one they can relate to and look up to
better Tonight I think I'll write my biggest fan a fuck you letter
I got mushrooms, I got acid, I got tabs and aspirin tablets I'm
your brother when you need, some good weed to set you free You
know me, I'm your friend, when you need a minithin (I'm Slim
Shady..) I'm Shady!!
[Eminem] Yo..
I listen to your demo tape and act like I don't like it (Aww that
shit is wack!) Six months later you hear your lyrics on my shit
(What?? That's my shit!) People don't buy shit no more they just
dub it That's why I'm still broke and had the number one club hit
(Yup, uh huh) But they love it when you make your business public
so fuck it, I've got herpes while we on the subject (uh-huh) And
if I told you I had AIDS y'all would play it cause you stupid
motherfuckers think I'm playin when I say it -- Well, I do take
pills, don't do speed Don't do crack (uh-uhh) don't do coke, I do
smoke weed (uh-huh) Don't do smack, I do do shrooms, do drink beer
(yup) I just wanna make a few things clear My baby mama's not dead
(uh-uhh) she's still alive and bitchin (yup) And I don't have
herpes, my dick's just itchin It's not syphilis, and as for being
AIDS infested I don't know yet, I'm too scared to get tested I got
mushrooms, I got acid, I got tabs and aspirin tablets I'm your
brother when you need, some good weed to set you free You know me,
I'm your friend, when you need a minithin (I'm Slim Shady..) I'm
Shady!! (Ha hah-ha, ha! Ha hah, hah..) I told you I was Shady!!
(Ha hah-ha, hah-ha! Ha hah, hah-ha, hah-ha, hah-ha) Y'all didn't
wanna believe me! I'm Shady!! .. And that's my name
Bad Meets Evil
[Cowboy] I
reckon you ain't familiar with these here parts You know, there's
a story behind that there saloon Twenty years ago, two outlaws
took this whole town over Sheriffs couldn't stop em Quickest damn
gun slingers I've ever seen Got murdered in cold blood That ol'
saloon there was their lil' home away from home They say the
ghosts of Bad and Evil still live in that tavern And on a quiet
night You can still hear the footsteps of Slim Shady and Royce Da
Five-Nine
[Eminem] I
don't speak, I float in the air wrapped in a sheet I'm not a real
person, I'm a ghost trapped in a beat I translate when my voice is
read through a sismograph And a noise is bred, picked up and
transmitted through Royce's head (AAHHH) Trapped him in his room,
possessed him and hoist his bed Till the evilness flows through
his blood like poisonous lead Told him each one of his boys is
dead I asked him to come to the dark side, he made a choice and
said
[Royce] Who
hard? yo I done heard worse We can get in two cars and accelerate
at each other To see which one'll swerve first Two blind bandits
panic, whose mental capacity holds That of a globe on top of nine
other planets Kissed the cheek of the devil Intelligence level is
hell-ier than treble peakin on speakers in the ghetto Dismissal,
I'm not a fair man, disgraced the race of a atheist Intercepting
missles wit my bare hands like a patriot One track sliced without
swords, I buried the Christ corpse In my past life when the Black
Knight mounted the white horse And stay over-worked, its like the
Nazis in the nations Collaborating, attemptin to take over the
earth
[Eminem]
Cuz this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil We hit the trees till
we look like Vietnamese people He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve
Segal Above the Law cuz I don't agree wit police either (shit, me
neither) We ain't eager to be legal So please leave me wit the
keys to your Jeep Eagle I breathe ether in three amounts When I
stab myself in the knee with a diseased needle Releasin rage on
anybody in squeezing range Cold enough to make the seasons change
into freezing rain (He's insane) No I'm not, I just want to shoot
up and I'm pissed off Cuz I can't find a decent vain
[Royce] The
disaster wit dreds I'm Bad enough to commit suicide and survive
long enough To kill my soul after I'm dead When in danger it's
funny actually my flavor's similar to a waiter Cuz I serve any
stranger wit money I spray a hundred, man until they joint chains
While slippin bullets at point blank range like they was punches
Piss on a flag and burn it, murder you then come to your funeral
Serve this lobbyist, strangle your body then confirm you Whippin
human ass, throwin blows crackin jaws Wit my fists wrapped in
gause, dipped in glue and glass I'm blazin MC's, at the same time
amazin MC's Somehow MC's ain't that eye-brow raisin to me >From
all of angles of us, flash a mack loud enough to cast a avalanche
And bust till volcanoes errupt
[interlude]
*phone rings* Hello? (Billy) Aiyyo what's up (we're comin to get
you) STOP, THEY KNOW IT'S US!!
[Eminem] I
used to be a loudmouth, remember me? (uh-ah) I'm the one who
burned your house down (oh) Well I'm out now (shit), and this time
I'm comin back to blow your house up And I ain't gon leave you a
window to jump out of Give me two fat tabs and three shrooms And
you won't see me like fat people in steam rooms And when I go to
hell and I'm gettin ready to leave I'ma put air in a bag and
charge people to breathe
[Royce] (Eminem)
Cuz this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil And we hit the trees
till we look like Vietnamese people He's Evil, and I'm Bad like
Steve Segal Against peaceful, see you in hell for the sequel
(We'll be waitin) See you in hell Wall Street, Royce Da Five-Nine,
Slim Shady See you in hell for the sequel (bye bye) Bad Meets
Evil, what? (till next time)
[Cowboy]
And so that's the story when Bad Meets Evil Two of the most wanted
individuals in the county Made Jesse James and Billy the Kid look
like law-abiding citizens It's too bad they had to go out the way
they did Got shot in the back comin out of that ol' saloon But
their spirits still live on till this day Shhh...[spits] wait, did
y'all hear that? [Footsteps and windblowing]
Still Don't
Give A Fuck
[Eminem] A
lot of people ask me.. am I afraid of death.. Hell yeah I'm afraid
of death I don't want to die yet A lot of people think.. that I
worship the devil.. that I do all types of.. retarded shit Look, I
can't change the way I think And I can't change the way I am But
if I offended you? Good Cause I still don't give a fuck I'm zonin
off of one joint, stoppin a limo Hopped in the window, shoppin a
demo at gunpoint A lyricist without a clue, what year is this?
Fuck a needle, here's a sword, bodypierce with this Livin amuk,
never givin a fuck Gimme the keys I'm drunk, and I've never driven
a truck But I smoke dope in a cab I'll stab you with the sharpest
knife I can grab Come back the next week and re-open your scab
(YEAH!) A killer instinct runs in the blood Emptyin full clips and
buryin guns in the mud I've calmed down now -- I was heavy once
into drugs I could walk around straight for two months with a buzz
My brain's gone, my soul's worn and my spirit is torn The rest of
my body's still bein operated on I'm ducked the fuck down while
I'm writin this rhyme Cause I'm probably gonna get struck with
lightnin this time
Chorus: For
all the weed that I've smoked - yo this blunt's for you To all the
people I've offended - yeah fuck you too! To all the friends I
used to have - yo I miss my past But the rest of you assholes can
KISS MY ASS For all the drugs that I've done - yo I'm still gon'
do To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too! For
everytime I reminisce - yo I miss my past But I still don't give a
fuck, y'all can KISS MY ASS
[Eminem] I
walked into a gunfight with a knife to kill you And cut you so
fast when your blood spilled it was still blue I'll hang you til
you dangle and chain you with both ankles And pull you apart from
both angles I wanna crush your skull til your brains leaks out of
your veins And bust open like broken water mains So tell Saddam
not to bother with makin another bomb Cause I'm crushin the whole
world in my palm Got your girl on my arm and I'm armed with a
firearm So big my entire arm is a giant firebomb Buy your mom a
shirt with a Slim Shady iron-on And the pants to match ("Here
momma try em on") I get imaginative with a mouth full of
adjectives, a brain full of adverbs, and a box full of laxatives (Shittin
on rappers) Causin hospital accidents God help me before I commit
some irresponsible acts again
Chorus
[Eminem] I
wanted an album so rugged nobody could touch it Spend a million a
track and went over my budget (Ohh shit!) Now how in the fuck am I
supposed to get out of debt? I can't rap anymore - I just murdered
the alphabet Drug sickness got me doin some bugged twitches I'm
withdrawn from crack so bad my blood itches I don't rap to get the
women - fuck bitches Give me a fat slut that cooks and does dishes
Never ran with a click - I'm a posse Kamikaze, strappin a
motherfuckin bomb across me From the second I was born, my momma
lost me I'm a cross between Manson, Esham and Ozzy I don't know
why the fuck I'm here in the first place My worst day on this
earth was my first birthday Retarded? What did that nurse say?
Brain damage? Fuck, I was born during the earthquake
Chorus
